Sexual Assault
What to do if you have been sexually assaulted
- If still in a dangerous place, get out if possible, and call police on 111.
- Tell an adult that you can trust. This can be your mum or dad, a teacher, a friend’s parent, a counsellor or social worker. If unsafe in a public place, go into a shop and ask for help, or ask an adult who looks safe.
- Phone one of the helplines listed below
- Tell a friend who seems sensible.
- Definitely tell somebody safe. You are not going to get in trouble.
What to do if your child tells you about a sexual assault on them
- Do not have a big reaction! If you are really calm, it will help reassure them that it is not a terrible thing, and that you can be calm enough to support them.
- It is important that they have choices about what to do. Sexual assault involves being unable to make a choice, and having no say in what happens next can be further traumatising.
- If it is extremely recent, contacting police may enable forensic evidence to be collected, which can help in any subsequent prosecution. Any medical checks are done by specially trained doctors, no physical examinations are done by police officers. If not contacting police immediately, placing underwear in a clean plastic sealable bag may be sensible, if the child or young person is considering reporting it later.
- Thank your young person for telling you. Do not ask questions, but just listen to what they tell you, and acknowledge their distress. (If you ask too many questions it can affect any evidential interview later. It can be useful to write down specific things they say though, and keep that in a safe place).
- Consider contacting a support organisation (see below)
- Do not be angry at your child for getting into a vulnerable situation. Offenders are skilful at creating situations where they can offend, and take advantage of the naivety of young people. It is not the child’s fault. Often parents are upset and distressed themselves. Try to stick with being a supportive and caring figure, it’s the best you can do at this point.
For young people
Sexual assaults and sexual offending is an ongoing problem in New Zealand, with children and adolescents often targeted via online grooming, and abusers who often appear to be friends before they become coercive or abusive. Sexual offending can include a range of things including things done to another, as well as persuading a young person to perform acts that are sexual or sexually provocative. Online offenders may try and get nude pictures of a young person, and then use these to threaten you. If this has happened and is now a problem, please tell an adult you can trust and who will support you. If this has not happened yet, great: Please do not share nude pictures of yourself online or with friends!!!
If you are a child or adolescent who has been sexually assaulted, or have been caught in a situation which feels unsafe or generally sexually yuck, please tell a safe adult, or ring one of the helplines given below. You will not get in trouble for reporting what has been happening.
If you are unsafe NOW, call 111 and tell police what is happening. If you have a safe place you can go, go there NOW.
There are a number of services that provide support around sexual assault. These include:
Oranga Tamariki to report concerns about at risk children and adolescents [email protected]
OR PHONE 0508 326459 (0508 FAMILY)
Safe to talk text 4334 or call 0800 044 334 webchat safetotalk.nz or email [email protected]
national helpline
The Harbour online support and info for people affected by sexual abuse
Help Auckland 0800 623 1700 24 hr helpline.
Rape Crisis line 0800 883300
Womens Refuge 0800 733 843 ** IMPORTANT: some offenders will check their partners’ devices **.
Please consider using the “Shielded” icon on the main web-page, or use a friend’s phone to call Womens Refuge.
Shine domestic abuse services 0508 744 633
Male survivors Aotearoa go to webpage – helplines across NZ
Waikato – Male support services trust – 0800 677 289 waikatosurvivors.org.nz
Counselling support is available for those who have been sexually assaulted. In the Thames-Coromandel and Hauraki area, you can see a counsellor or Psychologist who is an accredited ACC provider under their Integrated Services for Sensitive Claims (ISSC) provisions. If you know of a Counsellor or Psychologist who does ACC work, you can approach them directly, and they can make the claim.
If you do not know of anyone, the webpage link here takes you to an ACC site that lists organisations who have counsellors qualified to do ISSC counselling in your area.
https://www.findsupport.co.nz/
One of the Suppliers in this area is CAPS Hauraki, below is a link for their website:
http://www.capshauraki.co.nz/info-for-people-impacted-by-sexual-harm.html
You have the right to see an ACC counsellor from the start, you do not have to engage in seeing a non-ACC therapist first. You are entitled to have an initial two sessions with an ACC therapist to decide if they are the right person for you. If for some reason you do not “click” with the first person you see, you are entitled to ask to see someone else.
Facts and figures
- About one in nine adults (11 percent) who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual and other adults with diverse sexuality were sexually assaulted in NZ within a 12-month period prior to the 2021 survey. This is more than five times higher than the New Zealand average (2 percent). (NZCVS)
- A 2005 US study identified 6% of individuals with autism had been sexually abused, and 18.5% had been physically abused. (Mandel, Walrath, et al, 2005).
- About 35 percent of females and 12 percent of males had experienced sexual assault in their lifetime. The proportion of those who experienced sexual assault was high in young people, with 18 percent of adults aged 15-19 already having been previously sexually assaulted. (NZCVS)
- Only 8 percent of sexual assaults were reported to the Police. (NZCVS)
REFERENCES
Mandell, D.S., Walrath, C.M., Manteuffel, B., Sgro, G. & Pinto-Martin, J.A. (2005). The prevalence and correlates of abuse among children with autism served in comprehensive community-based mental health settings. Child Abuse and Neglect (29), 12, pp1359-1372. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2005.06.006
(2021 New Zealand Crime and Victims Survey). Downloaded on 4/9/2023 from:
All views expressed in this information sheet are those of the author, however based on broad research and clinical experience. Any feedback may be directed to the author: Steve Williams, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Director: C&A Hub.
This version: © August 2023.